Watch me Leave
by LovelyPrecedent
Summary: Tifa has an unexpected breakdown and decides to leave her home, however no one was prepared for the consequences of her absence. Previously under my old username ThePanorama, note: this is Cloti.
1. Stewing around

I do not own FF7 or SE. 

This takes place shortly after Advent Children and Tifa unexpectedly has a breakdown.

**First chapter: ** Warning OOC Tifa she is besides herself in agitation here.

Sometimes I look back to my past and wonder how my childhood me would react if she could see me NOW. Back then, I had my act together. Yes some people may have called me a stuck up, popular and a headstrong type of girl but having the confidence of being one is something that I miss. Back then I never chased, never felt unnecessarily guilty and obligated to help everyone and every single freaking thing around me.

I can imagine young-me's disgust at my desperate wish to win the hearts of the people around me. Once I would have sneered at the idea of groveling after peoples' acceptance and being such a people pleaser! And don't for one minute assume that it is only one person whom I crave the affection and attention of. Oh no, I am even anxious to receive the approval of my two orphans. The crux of it is that they are not and will never even be mine'. The flower girl still remains connected and somewhat responsible for their wellbeing and livelihood – forgive me for being a paranoid jealous psycho for saying it but she does.

How is it that Marlene can see her, sense her and receive spiritual messages from her? And I can't? Marlene always gets sentimental when she talks about her and speaks her name with everlasting affection. She also tries to look like her, you know with the bow and hair braid and because it makes him happy – and proud that she respects and admires her beloved memory. That's how inspirational my friend was- I mean IS. I wonder if anyone would try to impress _me_ when I'm dead.

And then there's sweet darling Denzel. He loves Cloud so much and wants to be just like him. Only thing is, he has nothing to do with me apparently. Oh no Cloud is so adamant that Aerith brought Denzel to HIM only – like some sort of spiritual love child gesture if you catch my drift. I mean _thanks_ Cloud, you kind of forgot that Denzel contacted me before he collapsed in your church. Also you kind of forgot that I maintained his survival and wellbeing while you up and left for a good effing two years. I mean if he belonged to you and her, I could have been low and just turned him out of my bar, he is your responsibility after all hey?

So yes, over all I am feeling rather used, and worn out. It has come to the point where my groups of friends are just abusing my hospitality and using me for free accommodation and food. Really that's what I'm known for. Oh 'Tifa the great cook, Tifa the great barkeep, Tifa the sweet loving nurse, the counselor, the confidante, the mother.' Except I'm not even allowed to claim the role of mother because they already have the spiritual mother, I am 'like' a mother, I am 'like' sweetheart – translation – I do all the work and acts of service of a mother and a caring partner without receiving any of the actual perks of being either of them. What's it called –

Oh yeah! The third wheel. I am the third wheel of my own house. I am second best and always the second choice. Them three are just settling for me. I realised that a month ago and acted ASAP. It's time to bring back the old Tifa attitude. The one which got me places, the me I was back then when he chased me, not the other way around. Four weeks ago I sold my bar. SURPRISE! No one saw that coming. And oh gods did I receive so much crap for it but you know what it is my bar and my business and to hell with what my friends think. They can follow me to my new point of business if they are genuine friends. When the new tenants take over Seventh Heaven, they will essentially have possession of the building and um, all the property rights of it. But here's the dilemma. All my friends know except Cloud – I don't even want him to know, because if he does he will leave me first in anger. This time, I want to be the one who leaves him. So I resolved not to tell him until the absolute last ticking possible moment, which is…tomorrow evening.


	2. Fighting fighting

**Cloud's POV**

For once I am awake before everybody else, due to a damned headache that began last night. Tifa will be down soon to open the bar and prepare breakfast for Marlene and Denzel. For now it's nice to sit down alone on the bar stool and enjoy the morning's silence – business will be bustling all day and we may not get a chance to sit down let alone socialize until late into the night.

"Morning" Tifa yawns as she walks down the stairs to behind the bar. " How are you this fine morning ?"

" Quite well, apart from this bloody headache" I mutter. I stand up to prepare a coffee, gods know I need caffeine to get through this long day.

"Don't worry I'll make it for you" Tifa swiftly moves to the coffee machine.

"Thanks Tifa you are a gem." I smile and try to catch her eye so she doesn't think I am ungrateful or completely shitty this morning. She gives me a small smile but looks away rather quickly.

"Um excuse me I have to collect the ice" she turns on her heel and scurries past me, eyes downcast. Is this just pre-shift nerves?

The phone goes off, and the shrill tone causes a stab of pain behind my eyes.

" Ah damnit! I'll be down right in a sec!" she yells from upstairs.

"Don't worry I got this one!" …I do want her to think that I am useful in our business.

"Hello Seventh Heaven and Strife Delivery Service how can we help you?"

" Why good jolly morning to you! " It's a smooth and booming voice. " It's Edgar here, and I'm waiting to speak with Tifa. You must be the one and only Cloud? She talks about you quite a bit." A friendly chuckle follows.

"Yes…. Do I know you?" My impatience is starting to rise.

Tifa grabs the receiver from my hands.

"Yes? Oh Hello Edgar!...Tomorrow?...Yes that should be absolutely fine, I'll expect her sometime in the evening and they will show her around…..What?...Don't worry, that's our problem….OK…..Goodbye."

Irritating regulars can be so presumptuous. I yawn deeply again and drink as Denzel enters the bistro.

"Was that the man who is going to take over Seventh Heaven and kick us out?" Denzel asks nonchalantly.

_Wait What?_ I choke on my coffee and spit it out. I look immediately at Tifa, and she looks…busted.

"Tifa what the hell is going on?"

"I thought my question answered it" Denzel replies. "Tifa is leaving Seventh Heaven, duh! Or did you actually manage to forget that she's leaving us forever?"

Wait, I can't be hearing right, maybe his words are being muffled by this headache and I'm just subconsciously hearing the words I've always dreaded.

"Denzel," Tifa almost whispers. " I haven't told Cloud yet."

"Wait a minute!" I feel absolutely played. " Do you mean to tell me that you guys have known this, and that ALL of you know except me?"

Tifa is just silent and Denzel looks timidly at the floor shuffling his feet.

The range of emotions running through me right now are too intense . I feel angry and betrayed but most of all humiliated, humiliated that I'm being shown up as a failure yet again.

I spring up from my chair to meet Tifa face to face. Maybe my body language intimidates her but I am quite overwhelmed at the moment. "Explain" I hiss at her while gripping her shoulders tightly.

She looks shocked and frightened enough.

"You wouldn't understand….you don't want to." She turns her back on me. That hurts.

"Tifa don't turn your back on me!" I all but yell.

She remains immobile in that position but I hear a massive sniffle. She turns around and her face is teary but livid. Oops. I take a step backwards.

"How dare you." She says is a dangerously low voice.

"How dare you tell me off for doing _once_ what you have done to me these last few years!" she starts shrieking. "Does it feel bad Cloud? Does it hurt when my back is turned to you and I completely cut your words off like that? I can't even begin to count the number of times you have ignored me and rejected my wishes to just be in your company! You, you hypocrite!"

Woah, oh shits. My headache doesn't seem like the worst thing happening anymore. Tifa collapses into one of the bistro seats, rests her head into her arms and starts sobbing violently. Alright this has just become a really really bad day. I walk tentatively to her and stroke her shoulder.

"Tifa I'm sorry, trying to be vicious towards you - that was really low of me."

She wipes her nose with the napkin. "Ooh Cloud. You don't have to try" she hiccups. "You've been tearing me apart from the inside for a good many years now, without trying."

I freeze.

"All those times you leave without saying a word for weeks, sometimes even months, and you think that doesn't upset us Cloud? You think you can just waltz in after your long leave and that my smile and welcoming gestures are genuine? Well I have news for you buddy, once my overjoy at having your presence here was real, but then I realised how pathetic and desperate I was being. Here you are running away from me wholeheartedly to _find_ a woman who is not even on this planet, and when you feel a bit rundown and tired you decide to lodge temporarily at your 'pseudo' home with your fake family here. And me, being the sucker I am simper and swoon when you come home through that door, even while knowing that you are seeing me as a last resort."

Any previous retort I could conjure up stuck in my throat. Denzel is observing this fiasco with alarm.

"Tifa I…." Could I really be like that? A wave of self loathing overcomes me. Yes I must be like that. Because I cannot bring myself to adamantly deny what she said. But I do know now, that seeing her cry is tearing me up on the inside, and I cannot help hating myself even more for knowing I am the cause.

"You know what? You don't care for us. And that's all right. But I have to leave now, because I DO care, so much, too much, it hurts," she says weakly. "You don't seem to want me in your life, or in your heart. I am going to respect that and quietly exclude myself from your life, just like you want me to."

I'm am about to argue back because I DO have an objection to that but everything pauses when Marlene enters the room. She walks to Tifa.

"I'll go with you." She says firmly. Tifa despite her wretchedness smiles tenderly at the girl and ruffles her hair. " I know where I am wanted, and that's where I will go," she chirps.

She turns to Denzel. "Denzel, come with us, please," she looks at her best friend, her mentor and the boy she considers her brother earnestly.

Denzel looks conflicted but crosses his arms and stares fixedly at Tifa.

"That woman…the one who saved me in the water. She's the one who rescued me, and therefore the one whom I consider loyal to us. She brought me to Cloud when I was dying of Geostigma and because of that, it is my duty to stay with Cloud, for her…for _them_." He said this all rather coldly. "I'm sorry Tifa" he says with narrowed eyes.

"But Denzel, Tifa was with us both that whole time you were sick, she never left us, even Cloud wasn't there when you were near dying! Have you forgotten that the three of us lived well once?" Marlene was starting to sound upset.

"I'm sorry Marlene. I won't go with you. That is all." Denzel snapped.

Just then Barret entered the premises.

"You wouldn't believe how bloody long it takes ter get the bread. I mean it's morning for goodness sake!" he rants oblivious to the drama. Marlene runs to Barret.

"Daddy Daddy, I want to go with Tifa, wherever she goes when she leaves, even though Denzel won't come with us. Can you please let me go with her?"

Barret looks at the 'trio' and comprehends.

"Oh I see what's going on here. The answer is no no and no Marlene."

Marlene looks devastated. "But Daddy why? I don't want our family to split apart when it just got started."

"THAT'S EXACTLY WHY I WILL NOT LET YOU STAY!"

Both Tifa and I jump back in shock. We have never seen Barret this furious before. Well now we know that he can be…terrifying. He turns on us.

" BOTH OF YOU, ARE STUPID IMMATURE DUMBASSES!" YOU HEAR ME? MY MARLENE HAS HAD ENOUGH OF BROKEN FAMILIES AND I WON'T HAVE YOU TWO HURTING HER AGAIN, UNDERSTAND?"

He is fully red in the face and huffing. Everyone is frozen in fear, but eventually he composes himself.

"What I am saying is, that you two need ter get a grip and grow up. Why can't you just grit your teeth and bear it? If you refuse ter make yourselfs happy at least try to get along for the kids. You two bimbos forget that I was THERE with you saving the planet. And in the crappy aftermath, I didn't have any entitlement issues the way you two do. I don't expect any 'reward', you two need get a _clue_."

"Barret I don't expect a reward-" Tifa was mumbling.

"Yes you do, you expect Cloud's affection. And you know what? Despite being the most kindest awesome tender hearted faithful lover that you are, that guy don't owe ya anything. Get that?"

Tifa looked stricken, devastated and heartbroken all at once. I had a sudden overwhelming urge to bash Barret in.

"Barret _shutup-"_

" – and _you_" Barret points at me. "You are no better than her, with your god complex and all. After saving the world you expect to be rewarded with not only with Tifa's 'true love' – oh please - but also the ability to bring back from the dead and you are willing to sabotage the happiness and wellbeing of yourself and everyone else around you ter achieve that -"

My head's starting to spin and Barret's rambling is almost incoherent.

"-you know I _hate_ ter say this but yer self obsession and indifference is almost quite similar to what happened to HIM"

"SHUTUP!" I roar. I am shaking in rage.

"I may have entitlement issues Barret, but compare me to Sephiroth again and I will cut you down without hesitation." I whisper.

Barret was finally silenced.

"Tifa please," Marlene pleaded. "Please reconsider what you are about to do. It's making us all sad and pyscho."

Marlene's innocent comment almost made me laugh. Tifa sighed and rubbed her forehead in exasperation.

"All I want to do is move _house_. Why that is such a problem I do not understand. But, I will consider what you said Marlene. I will think on it for you and Denzel's sake. Only."

She stomps to the front door and wrenches the welcome sign around to "Closed for Today." Then turns around.

"If you will excuse me, I need to chat with the new tenants. I will be gone all day." She slams the glass door behind her; it shatters and the welcome sign drops to the ground.

She curses and hangs the sign on the doorknob instead before sprinting away. The shrill phone rings again and no one bothers to pick it up.

"Cloud!" It's Denzel.

"Sorry what?" I blink. We are experiencing the king of awkward silence.

"Umm do you want another coffee?"


	3. Lows and Highs

**10:00 am**

I've screwed up again.

Again.

Typical.

I remember gazing at the sky and feeling for the first time in my life that I would actually succeed in something without it blowing to pieces. And it wasn't the gushing streams of glowing Lifestream energy defeating Meteor before my eyes that gave me that assurance. My self-victory didn't come from the knowledge that the deranged General had finally been defeated and the agony he caused to everyone I dearly cared for was finally no more. No, my confidence came from the fact that the woman who had accompanied me this entire time, who put my scrambled mind back together again and believed in me without fail – was still standing by my side. Is this going to last? I smiled because I knew the answer for once… Yes. I could start a new life, with her.

"_Because I have you this time_" I told her.

She said I always had her. But I told her it would be different this time.

I continued to think about what this meant. _This time_ we wouldn't be sneaking in conversations during the intervals of life threatening battles. This time I wouldn't be the shell and façade of the Cloud I was beforehand and giving everyone half assed responses. From now on I was going to take care of her in return for what she did for me. We would be together because we wanted to be, and because we _could_, not because we were reunited friends turned terrorist comrades in a haphazard mission to save the Planet. I'm sick of disappointing everyone and always saying sorry. I hope to do more things to make her the bright and cheerful person she really is. But did I tell her all this?

What happened? Well everyone knows the story of how I got sick, and had to defeat that evil bastard plus more of them and fight _again_ for the Planet. I got closure and forgiveness from the two dear people I was convinced I miserably failed. But what's happening now is like facing the biggest nightmare I've felt in three years. I am about to lose everything dear to me again. It's not because of a planetary crisis, or crippling sickness, or that silver haired bastard. Now I can no longer use him as an excuse for failing. I completely screwed this up all by myself. Tifa and I…how did it go so wrong?

**3:00 PM:**

I feel a gentle tap on my shoulder.

"Cloud?"

It's Marlene's timid voice. I lift my head from the table and try to regain my clarity.

"You've had your head in your hands since this morning. Are you okay?" she continues.

"Yeah Marlene…I'm trying to figure what to do about this." I feel self-loathing growing inside. I'm such a shitty guardian.

"Well! Denzel and I came up with an idea". Then she slaps down a giant card. It has big glitter words on it that said "Thank You" and decorated artwork that looked like hearts, something sentimental and flashy like that.

"We are going to cheer her up and let her know how much we love her. That will make her stay right Cloud?" she looks so hopeful so I nod and try to muster a smile.

"Denzel has written down a promise list for her about how he will be a better son from now on. He said especially that he feels bad for not appreciating all the things she did for him when he was sick. He feels really bad. He is also going to talk to her much more. Daddy got her a big bunch of flowers and he is out buying ingredients now. We are all going to cook her a lovely dinner and make up aren't we aren't we?" she is practically bouncing now.

"That will help her won't it?! I heard your friends talking about her the other day. They notice she looks tired and moody all the time. We think she just needs a big rest and more hugs and maybe she wouldn't lose her temper and suddenly want to leave like that."

My heart almost wrenches at her words, because I know it is much more deep seated than that. I don't know if one action like this can remedy whatever growing agitation Tifa has been experiencing to the point of snapping like that. I am so worried and sad for her. Hopefully it's not past the point of no return.

"Cloud!"

"Huh?"

"You are zoning out too much! It's your turn to write something nice for Tifa now." She's holding out a big glittery red pen. Then Denzel comes down from his room and sits next to Marlene on the table.

Inside the card are scribbled notes from her, Barret and Denzel. I always feel like an out of character goof when writing any sort of card. It's never been my thing and she'll probably slap me for what I'm about to write anyway but

_"__Dear Tifa, _

_I am so sorry that you are sad. You are the last person who should be crying because when you cry our entire family loses its marbles. That's how important you are to us. You are the most important woman to me and I feel like the biggest dunce for not letting you know that more. Tell me how to change and make you smile again and I will. I will even dress up as a girl again if it will make you laugh. _

_Always yours – Cloud"_

"Hahaha she totally should make you do that and we'll tape it. If you borrow her dresses though we need to buy some chicken fillets to fill out your flat chest. The chickens are on sale today."

Denzel stares are her blankly.

"What?"

"Noob, chicken fillets for boobs are not actually chicken fillets you know."

"Yes they are."

"No they aren't because I've seen them, there's this girl in school who wears them –"

"Ooooh Denzel is peeking at girls' boobies now" Marlene has that mischievous look.

Denzel has nothing to say and I burst out laughing. These kids. Then I feel a rush of pride and protectiveness. _My_ kids. And Tifa's. Our kids, _our _family. Of course Marlene will always have Barret as her first guardian father and rightfully so but now I see why Tifa was so eager to hold on to this family unit after the first Meteor incident. Why am I so _slow_?

"Guys" I say. They both stop and I'm also bashful because they actually look up to me.

"This is going to work. We are going to fix this and remain a family". I mean it and the kids beam.

**8:00 am the next day:**

Who was I fooling? Cloud Strife is officially the biggest failure in the history of Gaia.

**End note:**

Omg what happened? Guess you will find out in the next chapter from Tifa's broken mindset and point of view ;)

I have just realized something. I have depicted the Seventh Heaven family and the Cloud and Tifa pairing _with _Barret also residing with them. It can totally work and Barret's presence here is strangely comforting.


	4. Faltering

_I have fire for this fic so I'm taking advantage of it while it lasts._

I have had a sick feeling in my stomach since breaking down my glass entrance door. Wasn't that a fitting thing to happen though? The shattered glass serves as a symbol of what happened to my family and my dreams for the future. Broken to shards. If that's so then finalizing the arrangements for Edgar and Shera to move in and take over my bar is akin to me rolling around on the razor sharp fragments. It hurts.

Today I considered Marlene's request. I am still leaving no matter what and it breaks my heart. However I consulted the real estate agents and made some alterations. Cloud, Denzel and Marlene shall not be evicted from Seventh Heaven and I've signed forms for Cloud to retain his ownership rights over Strife Deliveries and for him to co-own Seventh Heaven with Edgar and Shera. I gave my signature to relinquish my position as Head Manager and owner of Seventh Heaven with Edgar as a witness. It's done no matter what. The most difficult part of the day is yet to come though. I need to go home one more time to gather my belongings and say goodbye. And to say sorry, If I have the nerve to be that presumptuous to think they'll believe it.

**8:00 pm**

I walk back to Seventh Heaven hoping my entrance will go unnoticed. For some reason the previously exposed door has been covered with red cellophane. They replaced it with red cellophane? I try not laugh. The glass fragments have been swept away. On turning the door knob I see the words "Welcome Home Tifa" with a big smiley face and heart in permanent marker. Only Marlene thinks of stuff like that. I think I'm going to melt and give in, no no! I tighten my resolve, the decision has been made.

I open the door quietly. They are all sitting around the kitchen table. Cloud is at the head seat and gazing right at me, right through me. His expression is unnerving; there is urgency in his eyes and a very concerned expression. I feel exposed when he does that, like he can see how badly I've fallen apart and is calling me out on it. He knows. I don't like feeling weak and pathetic in front of him, and this morning I felt small weak and pathetic.

"Welcome home Tifa!" Marlene yells cheerfully. She runs up to me and gives me a big hug.

"We really missed you and want you to cheer up. So we all made you dinner. Come come sit with us sit down." She drags me by the hand into the spare seat next to Cloud.

The silence in the air is quickly becoming awkward. Barret walked to the cupboard and brought out a bouquet of yellow lilies.

"These are for you darlin'. The last bunch in the flower shop and it's only fitting that you have them. Even if it was supposed to be a rip off." Barret is gruff and somewhat bashful because sentimentality has never been his forte. I get up and slowly wrap my arms around his massive chest and he looks relieved.

"They are so beautiful Barret, how kind."

Marlene seemed to notice my responsiveness and becomes even more outgoing. "Yes we also cooked you a dinner. It's gourmet pasta with white wine and mushrooms. Because we know you love mushrooms so much. And Denzel made chocolate pudding for dessert. You are gonna stay for dinner at least right? Because Cloud said we are definitely going to change your mind about leaving."

I need to hold back my tears so I crouch down and hug Marlene so my face is nuzzled against her back.

"Course I will stay for dinner sweetie. Anything for you."

**11:00 pm**

Dinner was an emotional reprieve from my present dilemma. For a moment it was so fun that I forgot I was going to leave. During dessert time Denzel brought over two things. The first was a personal note from him for me to "read later". I did laugh at that because I know what teenage boys are like, and that he wouldn't want me reading his personal letters to the group. The other thing they gave was a huge pink envelope which I promised to read later.

Later is now. I'm sitting up in bed and unfolding the small note from Denzel.

Dear Tifa (mom). I promise you…

- To help around the house much more.

- Not to tease Marlene to the point we fight and annoy you.

- To not tell Cloud my secrets without telling you.

-To try better with my school grades and do more homework.

-Not get into trouble at school anymore.

-To sleep earlier and play less video games.

-To not snap at you when I'm tired.

-To tell you how my day was when I come home from school.

-To stop comparing you to the Flower Lady because you were always the one here for me.

-To make you dessert so much more often.

So my chest starts to tighten when I read the line about the 'Flower Lady'. He is going to hate me tomorrow because I left him for no good reason other than my own selfishness and weakness. She left us all because she was sacrificing herself to save the Planet. Some pathetic role model I am. I start heaving.

Cloud walks into the room.

"Are you okay Tifa?" he looks alarmed because I start to breath very fast.

"I don't, I just don't know." I'm heaving so fast, what is happening am I going to die?

"You are having a panic attack, I know what it is." He swiftly climbs into the double bed next to me, wraps his arms around me and rocks me gently. This is so comforting. Why can't I just stay here and not think about what's going to happen next? Oh my god I am making a huge mistake. Wait no I already did.

"Shhhh" he continues to hold me for a good ten minutes until this awful thing called a panic attack subsides. My head is nuzzled in his chest. This is too nice, I don't want to face reality.

Too bad. I look up at him. "You're here."

"Yes, of course I am. Is that so surprising?"

"You aren't in the study doing late night delivery orders. And falling asleep there for the whole night."

"No I am not. And I shall not be doing that anymore, I promise" he smiles.

"You're here." I know my voice comes across as delighted and hopeful to him, but inside I'm in dismay. Why now? Why be here now of all times? Why is this moment happening now?

"Again and again. I am here. I'm not going anywhere. I am so sorry for being such a dumb idiot. At some point I started taking you for granted because I know you so well and your caring self so much that I trusted you to always be there no matter what. I got proud. I am such a stupid idiot and I hope you will give me a chance to change and show you how much I care for you and our family. And for how important you are to me."

Wow! Straight out of the horse's mouth. He said that very fast and his face was beet red by the time he finished. His blushing always makes me melt.

"I don't want to seem like I was throwing a childish tantrum this morning. You guys mean the _most_ to me. You always have meant the most to me." I mumbled.

His entire demeanor seems to instantly change. From tentative to hopeful. I hate myself I hate myself how can I break him like this, how can I live with my crappy heartlessness and give him this false hope.

"The feeling is mutual" he said softly. He looks down at the list I'm holding.

"You know, Denzel showed me that promise list before handing it to you. He wanted me to approve of everything first before giving it to you. But in all honesty I suggested to him that he do more homework because it would make you happy".

That is so touching. Did it mean he agreed with the Flower Lady line?

"I'm really touched. For some time I thought that Denzel didn't really like me."

"Why would you think that?"

"Because he tries to avoid conversations with me. He confides in you so much more and looks up to you."

"Is it…also something to do with what he said in the morning?" Cloud looks nervous.

I hesitate. No one besides me knows the depth of my sick and unhealthy low self-esteem and obsessive ruminations about my late best friend. My only ever close female friend.

"It's not my place to decide who is more important to anyone's heart. You cannot lie to the heart. He has every right to prefer you to me, or think that…Aerith is his true guardian mother" I say. Will he ever know how hard it was for me to even say her name?

"Because I told him it was wrong not to be grateful for everything you did for him." Cloud looks hesitant about continuing but like his confession before blurts out again.

"Look Aerith is a tender subject for both of us. I know that Tifa." It's like my heart stops.

"She will always be engraved in our memories, and for those who haven't met her yet like Denzel, our hearts too. Like you said, it is not our right to say who is more important to us. But I told Denzel that our actions matter most. You put the food on the table, you took him in from the streets, and nursed him to stop the disease from taking him quickly. That is substance. And that counts more than anything."

I look at him at smile. "Thankyou."

"I'm going to hold you really tight so you cannot escape and leave" he is becoming cheeky. But I realize something heartbreaking. He is only bringing out this behavior because he is confident and hopeful that everything is okay. He believes he can afford to be his natural cheeky and playful self because there is no present planetary crisis, because he isn't in paralyzing despair over his sins…and because he is sure I am not going to leave tonight.

**3:30 am:**

After waiting for an opportune moment when his arms finally released my body due to sleep stirring, I crept out of bed. I am a joke. I look at his sleeping form and peaceful face. I am so sorry. I am so ashamed of myself.

I creep down the stairs with my carry bag. At the kitchen table I scribble down one last note to Cloud because it would be too cruel to leave him without any last words. As for the kids, I am too ashamed of myself to even have the audacity to write a goodbye note. After all the effort they made to cheer me up. I kissed them a goodnight kiss hours ago. Denzel looked calm and serene. Marlene was bursting with joy when I tucked her into bed. Now they will hate me forever, so I won't try to force them to forgive me by writing a sorry note.

As I walked out the front door I got a twinge of creepy déjà vu. Isn't this exactly what happened after the first Meteor incident when Cloud left due to sickness? He gave me one last hopeful smile then bailed in the morning. This is what I'm doing now. The worst thing is that I know exactly what it felt like to wake up in the morning and see the empty space in the bed beside me. I remember exactly how it felt to calmly rationalize his absence for the first four hours of the day. It is okay, I told Marlene and Denzel. He probably had an emergency delivery to make or negotiation to make with a client and left early in the morning. He will be back by lunch, I said. He will be back by dinner, I said. I saw the kids' faces fall when it came to bed time and he still hadn't come home to tell them today's delivery stories. I felt my resolve diminishing by the hour. I felt the surreal horror and panic in the pit of my stomach when I climbed into bed alone for the first time. I remember how awful and nightmarish it was to realize the truth that he was gone. The sadness didn't hit until a week later.

I know what I'm doing to him. Once in my fit of mental rage I thought it would bring me a sick sense of justice to make him undergo the same pain I went. Now that it is actually happening, all I feel is heartbreak. I am so selfish and immature. Such a quitter. Oh and Barret! Since the age of fifteen when he took me under his wing for Avalanche I came to see him as my second father figure and mentor. Don't just take – he said. Show that you can give too.

Oh well. I guess my family doesn't deserve a weak and selfish person like me anyway. They'll do better without me, and I'll do better without them.

It's only at the train station that I realize I had carried the giant pink envelope back from the bar. I chuckle at the irony. I am like a witch. Here they are giving me a beautiful gift. I accepted it with simpers and smiles, then walked right out with it too.


	5. Never have I ever

In what seems like another lifetime Aerith and I developed an unexpected friendship. It seemed unlikely that we would confide so much in each other and talk for hours in the camping tent because we were so different at first sight. Others may have said that since we were the only two females in a group of terrorist misfits – well besides Yuffie that our blooming friendship was inevitable. Once we played 'Never have I ever.' I learned the most I ever will about her because of that game. Maybe she learned more about me too.

It started out typical and silly enough.

"Never have I ever… _not_ had someone crush on me" she joked.

"That's not surprising at all! But same with what you said" I replied. With all modesty I had few male admirers from the age of fourteen. Including –

"-Cloud."

"Huh?"

"Cloud may have a crush on you now you know" Aerith said playfully.

I looked down quickly "Cloud and I are just friends."

"Really? Well if you say so…"she said with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "Well it's your turn now."

"Hmm never have I ever seen a ghost" I said.

"Oh I do! Don't think I'm creepy or anything, but I see them and can talk to them too. Sometimes I talk with my mother."

That was the first time I felt an irrational twinge of awe and envy for this woman. She could talk to ghosts? She could talk to her mother? How I wish I could talk to my parents. At that time I thought she probably never felt lonely. That was so incorrect.

"Never have I ever…climbed a mountain" she said.

"Oh I have! I climbed a few times."

"Wow you are so brave, and fit. You have my respect" she laughs.

I didn't tell her that the first time was a fail because I fell down. Or that it was to try and fail to communicate with my mother's spirit. The boys laughed at me and said that was silly because spirits don't exist. I didn't mention that the others times involved me running up there to find my dying father's body. I wanted _not_ to sound pitiful.

"Never have I ever… had a boyfriend" I admitted without embarrassment.

"Oh I have had two, and maybe going on three soon" she admits cheekily. "Tseng had a soft spot for me and we had a little something, Zack and I…well we had something much deeper."

Without wanting to I got this sinking feeling because I could tell that she was the sort of woman who could walk into a room full of men and command the attention of whomever she chose. And being the enchanting enigma she was she would probably look at Cloud once and captivate him immediately. It was even more discouraging to me that she had so much assurance to confidently say that Cloud would be her boyfriend soon.

"Never have I ever…been taken on the Highwind" Aerith said softly.

"Oh we have to go sometime."

"I will, Cloud said he'd take me sometime!" Aerith sounded innocently excited.

That's the thing I hate about my complex feelings towards Aerith. She never had a single bad bone in her body. But the way she carried herself with so much confidence and grace made me feel resentful of her. She wasn't tactless or spiteful, just totally unaware that her radiance entrapped men in a way that an average woman couldn't, and that this same radiance unintentionally made other women feel dim and invisible around her. It's not her fault she was born a beautiful Cetra. So that's why I get so mad with myself for having felt threatened and resentful around her. Sometimes even peevish.

"Never have I ever…been stabbed" Aerith said. I think she meant it to be a joke. She was unaware about the cruelty of the world then.

I went pale "I have. You can tick that off my life achievements" I said shakily.

She went silent then put her hand on my shoulder and squeezed it gently.

"I'm sorry. Was it that bad man who did it to you?"

I nodded.

"I'm sorry again. How much did it hurt?" she couldn't seem to help herself.

So I went into detail. Girls who develop close friendships do strange things like this. They talk about literally anything and everything. I told her that Masamune is the stuff of nightmares, that the blinding white hot pain is indescribable and that even though guys admire my twin girls that I am still embarrassed about the fierce red scar that runs diagonally across them. I told her because I never dreamed that she would learn first-hand what the agony was like. I may have felt insecure around her sometimes but never did I even dream that she would be subject to that horror. I am sorry Aerith.

She tried to change the subject.

"What's your favorite flower?"

I smile despite all. "I love pale pink tulips. They rarely grow anywhere besides the mountain meadows of Nibelheim. They are my parents' flower. They had them at their wedding. When my Mom got sick Papa used to bring her tulips from the mountains every day. To them the pale pink symbolized innocent, fresh and enduring love. One day Papa brought her flower pot to the room. I heard it crash to the ground and he started wailing. That's when I knew Mom was dead. And when Papa died I wanted to plant pink tulips on his grave but they had all been razed by _his_ fire and they never grew back."

"So to you pale pink tulips symbolize enduring love?" There were tears in her eyes. She was actually going to cry.

"Oh I don't know. It could mean anything really, it's just my favorite flower" I mumble. This conversation was getting a bit sensitive for my comfort. I don't like being vulnerable in front of others.

"Well if you aren't sure then we could also make this our friendship flower?!" Aerith became eager. "I could try to plant one for us."

"I would love that" I cheered up almost instantly. "Because never ever have I been given a flower from someone."

"Alright, that is definitely on our to do list!" she beamed.

I wanted to tell her that sometimes she reminded me of a pink tulip, the way she traipsed around happily among us. In hindsight I should have because she probably would have laughed. It would have been funny. I did not want to tell her my following thought that sometimes I felt like an insignificant weed next to her, especially when we were around Cloud. I will never tell anyone that when I saw her mangled body she actually looked like a crushed flower. The truth is I never told her that while I associated pink tulips with incidents of love and hope, they were also followed by sadness and loss. Just like my blossoming friendship with her.

Anyway why I am reminiscing about this? Because the giant card that Marlene bought for me is decorated with pink tulips, along with a giant "Thank You" written in glittery writing. I've been staring at this card for the last hour since I boarded the train from Edge that goes to the other side of the Planet. Wait – my stomach turns. Is it possible that this is a _Thankyou_ message from her? Like she is thanking me for uprooting myself from where I don't belong and leaving the family to be without me? Thanking me that I'm leaving Cloud forever? No, no I am filled with shame and horror. What a twisted perversion of her memory to think that. Knowing her, she would probably be saying 'thank you' to me for trying to take care of everyone for her. For trying to take care of Cloud in this side of life. For _trying_ at least, for a time.

My throat feels constricted and since I'm alone in a carriage I let my grief loose. I feel awful. I miss her…it must be the pink tulips on the card that made me break. I miss Cloud. I miss the kids. I miss them all.

**Author's note:** Angsty poetic stuff isn't it? The inspiration of this fic title doesn't only pertain to Tifa. This chapter in essence describes Aerith's leaving. Anyway about 'complicated feelings'… So many fans give a simple interpretation "I like Cloud, you like Cloud _oooh_ I'm jealous of you!" No no no female friends are so much more complicated than that. When they say Tifa has complex feelings – they mean _complex _like the conflicted stuff you saw in this chapter.


	6. Watch them leave

Thank you x5 all reviewers you have helped me rekindle interest in this story; robotwarui, Tayashia, and guests. Guest who cried, I'm rapt that the story touches you :) ! I'm undecided about whether to continue 'To be cut', but I may revive it...anyway I checked out the traffic graph and there is someone from OMAN who visited this fic, that's awesome hello!

* * *

**Back at Seventh Heaven:**

I just woke up from a dream which is actually one of my memories. Tifa and I were back at Nibelheim and I was an insecure fourteen year old again. Not that I'm so secure now but back then the rejection from adults and kids was really devastating. Good thing I can shrug off rejection now, my family and Tifa is all I need to stay grounded. She was wearing that pretty blue dress and we were traipsing through that mountain meadow with the flowers talking and laughing about silly stuff. It was just the two of us and I was so relieved that none of her annoying guy friends were around. They were always trying to monopolize her attention, and affection. I scowled when the boy named Johnny jumped at us from behind a tree. What was he doing here?

"Hey Tifa!" he said, like he was pretending that he didn't just follow us. Why can't I just have her to myself for once?

"What are you doing with _him_? Huh Cloud? He's such a loser, you don't have to hang out with him."

Tifa gave him a death glare "Johnny were you following us? Leave us alone. I can hang out with whoever I want."

Johnny laughed. "Aaw you are hanging out with him for pity, well that's okay, gotta throw the poor dog a bone every now and then."

My rage got the better of me and I lunged forward and swung a punch at his stupid grinning face. Tifa gasped. The punch got his nose. Good, and he blinked back tears and blood started running out of his nose. He waited a few more seconds to regain composure.

"Ow. Whatever Cloud. But don't think that you stand a chance with her. You are a fatherless loser and for your part anything with her will only happen in your dreams…enjoy her while you can loser!" and he ran off.

I just stood there and shook with rage. Tifa put her hand on my shoulder.

"Don't listen to him. He's just jealous. Anyway he's hanging around me like all the time, it's not like spending some time with you for a bit will hurt him" she rolled her eyes.

Inwardly I was seething. Yes he was hoarding her company like some possessive creep. I wish that I could become stronger than all of those stupid boys she hangs out with. Won't that make her want me and only me? How come she keeps company with losers like that? I don't think that even now she realizes how mean her friends were; shattered memories of Nibelheim and the death of her friends made her idealize their existence and behavior. But I can remember their taunts clear as day and I can't help but gloat sometimes. I did get the girl you punks, I did become strong enough or at least desirable enough for her and I'm so damn happy…

…Those are my waking thoughts. The bed space next to me is empty but I don't bat an eyelid because Tifa is always awake and downstairs before everyone. I do the usual bathroom stuff then walk down the stairs. That's weird. How come the blinds on the corridor haven't been lifted up? The kitchen is very dark too. Did she go out early for some bar preparations? For a second a terrible thought occurs to me – maybe she changed her mind. No, she smiled at me yesterday and slept in my arms. She wouldn't have let me do that if she was planning to still bail. I was pretty sure that we convinced her to forget about leaving last night, she even cried when Denzel brought her dessert.

So I decide to start manning up and showing her that I can take care of our business too. I lift up the blinds, start the coffee machine and turn on the fridges. Maybe I could even make her breakfast? I'm sure she would be happily surprised if I made her sunny side eggs on toast. Yes she would like that, I smile to myself. I'm setting the stove then spot a red envelope on the table.

Better check it now than later if it could be important. I tear open the envelope which has 'Cloud' scrawled on it like someone was in a hurry.

_"__Cloud. I am sorry forever. I am so sorry for hurting you and the children. I have to go. Not just for myself but for you guys too. I lost myself a long time ago. I don't make you guys happy, and if I'm honest with myself, I am not happy either. I am giving you all your space. Please don't come looking for me. Start a new life without me, with someone else who is whole and can make you happy. Forget about me please. Thank you for putting up with me while I was here. I will never forget you and the children…Tifa"._

My blood just drained from my face. But what a funny joke Tifa. You will be back in forty five at least; you are just playing a well thought our prank aren't you? You'll come home with some ingredients and I'll thank you for almost scaring me right back into shape. Never mind I'll just continue cooking us breakfast anyway so you'll be happy when you come back in.

Denzel comes down first. That's unusual because he usually sleeps in on Saturdays.

"Where's Tifa?" first thing he asks.

"She went out. She'll be back soon though, don't worry" I tell him flatly.

"Are you sure?"

Dammit I'm not good at doing emotional reassurance. That's what sweet Tifa is for.

"Yep pretty sure. We are making her breakfast. Wanna help?"

His eyes light up "Sure!"

"She read your promise list last night."

"Oh?"

"She was really impressed. You made her really happy."

"I'm glad. The last thing I want is to seem like a useless son."

I squeeze his shoulder.

"You are far from useless."

Forty five minutes later and Marlene hadn't come down yet. That's unusual; she's usually the early bird. I went upstairs to check on her.

"Marlz you gonna wake up for breakfast?"

She didn't answer. I slowly opened the door to see her sitting cross legged on the floor staring listlessly out the window.

"Marlz, are you okay?" she remains completely stationary. It's unnerving. I slowly approach her and sit in front of her.

Her face was pale and she looked incredibly teary.

"Tifa's gone hasn't she?"

My breath catches in my throat.

"Why do you think that Marlene?"

She took out her pink ribbon violently and shoved it in my face.

"_She_ told me! Tifa's gone. She wasn't happy. She said Tifa isn't happy either…"

Oh my god.

"Marlene what else did she say? Did she say where Tifa went?" major panic is beginning to set it now. Denial mode is over.

She continued to glare at me angrily.

"No! She told me to 'be patient' whatever that means. Every time I'm patient is because people just leave me! They leave me all the time Cloud! My mummy, my real daddy, then you for a while. Now Tifa!"

She broke out into sniffles "Tifa didn't even wait for me to go with her!" then she bolted out of the room wailing.

"Marlene!" I ran down the stairs after her bloody hell what if she ran onto the streets and didn't come back.

Denzel is obviously interrupted from his peaceful breakfast by this commotion. Marlene grabs the red card and reads it out.

"There see? She already wrote you a letter! She's gone!"

Denzel drops his cutlery.

"Lemme see!"

He mouths the words of her letter then quietly returns back to seat and continues eating.

"Well?!" Marlene screams.

"That's it. She's gone. Whatever." Denzel is nonchalant. "It's not like she was happy with us anyway, she said so herself. Let her go."

Marlene bursts into renewed sobs while Barret enters the bar after his morning run. He looks at Marlene and comprehends immediately. He glares at me with finality.

"Marlene baby. Go upstairs and pack your bags, we are leaving as soon as you're done."

Marlene throws the pink ribbon in her hand onto the ground, stomps hard on it then runs up the stairs.

"You remember what I said Cloud?" Barret is eying me menacingly. "I said no more broken families for my girl. I'm sorry it turned out this way. It's for the best that we go."

I just nod at him. Denzel continues eating breakfast like nothing extraordinary is happening. No less than ten minutes later Marlene comes down with a big carry-on bag.

"You can keep the stupid family photos upstairs where they belong" she snaps. "I'm not keeping them. Bye Denzel."

She is still sobbing so Barret hoists her over his shoulder.

"It's okay baby girl. We can start over. No more people leaving ya okay? Shhhh" his voice is comforting but I can detect the seething fury underneath. He gives me one last civil nod before walking out. The cellophane door slams back by itself.

The wall clock chimes eight times. Each chime mocking me. I'm the biggest failure in the Planet. If I can save the Planet twice and still not keep a decent family together then something is clearly wrong with me. Denzel brings his plate to the sink.

"Hey Cloud, I'm gonna go out today. Call me if anything is up alright?"

I nod at him. I know he is doing this to give me space and privacy to grieve. Guys have that innate understanding when things go to shit.

* * *

I've heard that there are 'guidelines' for when it's acceptable for a man to cry. The death of a loved one is the first obvious excuse, and boy have I done that enough. Next to that is visiting a loved one's grave or saying goodbye to a beloved pet. The other times are when you propose to the love of your life and she says yes. Then maybe you can tear up once at the marriage altar because you are so happy. Yeah sure thing, I, Cloud Strife have never ever cried because I was happy. How is that possible to be so happy that you cry? Of happiness? That will never happen to me. I don't know if having all your current joy and future dreams blow up in your face qualifies for a man to cry. Or if the woman you thought you'd be happily sharing the rest of your life with suddenly disappears permanently. But I don't give a shit. This is bloody painful. I've been crying for the last four hours alone in the bar. I'm such a fail that no one dead or alive cares anyway.

* * *

_ I was listening to MP3 radio while typing out the last paragraph. Dma's song 'Delete' came on. How fitting and sad. To me seeing a grown man cry from sadness is one of the most heart wrenching things ever. You know it's bad if they are letting tears spill in public. Writing this chapter was quite hard and painful aaaah poor Cloud :'(_


	7. New chapter

Later in the afternoon I hear the doorbell ring. Thinking it's Denzel I trudge slowly to the door, hey I'm still. Instead this girl who looks the same age as Marlene is standing in his place. She has short auburn hair, hazel eyes and reddish overalls. Wait she looks vaguely familiar.

"Uhh this is Seventh Heaven right?"

"Yeah."

She looked sheepish and started tapping her feet.

"I am Shera. The new tenant of Seventh Heaven. Tifa told me that the place would be ready this afternoon."

"Yeah. I remember who you are now. Sorry, come in."

"I know it seems odd that I have just come in here for this role. Now I am out of work for a bit and looking for a means for income."

"So how have you come to be in contact with Tifa?" I cut in. I don't mean to snap but familiar or not this is the woman who is going to kick us out.

"Oh we randomly re-met at a café or something. Can't remember" she shrugs. "Next thing we both know we have each others' numbers and starting talking a lot. Tifa is one of the most amazing confidantes and female friends I've had in a while. We can really relate to each other. We built a lot of trust together."

I feel a rush of pride, my Tifa is able to reach anyone's heart. Wait she's not mine anymore… if she ever was.

"Uuh, are you going to let me in then?"

"I need to pack away my things, and I cannot actually leave here until Denzel comes home and prepares too."

"Oh. You aren't being kicked out though. Tifa changed the lease arrangements yesterday afternoon. She didn't actually sell her bar; she just relinquished her ownership and accommodation rights to me. You are still owner of Stife Delivery, _if_ you want to be, and Denzel and you are still legally residents."

I don't know why this piece of news suddenly gives me hope.

"Do you think that means she'll come back eventually?"

This girl, no woman named Shera stares curiously.

"What happened between you two? She called me many times and seemed really distressed about her home situation."

"Did she talk about me?"

She nodded hesitantly.

"She talked about you a lot"

"Talked? Are you still in contact with her?" I grip her shoulders because what I want more than anything now is to find her.

"Cloud" she takes my hands off. "Why don't we grab a coffee or something? You look like crap, like you've just had a breakdown. We should sit down properly and have a proper conversation. By the way I give my word to you. She cut off contact with me. She means what she said. She wants to start a new life."

* * *

So we did go to a café and ended up talking for five hours. I spilled my guts to this Shera woman. Despite her younger looking appearance she had a calming and mature presence. I don't know why but I felt comfortable letting her know my screwed up problems and personal hang ups with life after the Meteor then Geostigma incidents. And of course the crux of the conversation centered around Tifa. Most of the time Shera just nodded and made some verbal acknowledgement.

"…And this is where I am now. I screwed up big time and my life and family has gone to pieces."

She was silent for a long time.

"Actually Cloud, I think this is more to do with her insecurity complex and fears than yours. Now I'm not saying you didn't screw up because you did. Women are so sensitive and jump to conclusions quickly. She's literally taken your constant prioritizing everything else above her as personal rejection. Someone like Tifa doesn't handle personal rejection well after all the shit and trauma she's been through in the past."

Wow that was a revelation.

"She actually thinks I don't love her?" I'm aghast.

"Yes, she literally not only thinks you don't love her, but that you are yearning for another woman. I can see why she feels that way if you'd rather spend your free hour visiting your friend's graves – who is it Aeri – Aerith? Instead of going home to see Tifa first."

"I always counted on her to be there when I got home though. That's why I went to see my friends first. It wasn't an order of importance"

Shera sighed in frustration.

"That's your problem. You took her for granted. You assumed she was always there on your beck and call. Now let me tell you what happens to women in that position. They feel pushed. They feel pressured, angry, resentful and trapped – yes Cloud _trapped_. At some point after not feeling cherished enough they can just snap. And the scariest part for the men is that they never knew it was coming."

_Snap_…I remember Tifa's breakdown in the kitchen and how shocked I was. And shamefully, how much I downplayed it to the kids as her being tired and moody.

Shera pointed to herself.

"Do you know how I came to leave Shinra, building rockets and coming here to own a bar?"

She smiled ironically and I shook my head.

"Because I too am running away and starting over Cloud. I don't know what I'm doing exactly. But anything feels better than being trapped there."

"Where?"

"With _him_. Cid. He has been blaming me for his shattered dream of going to space for a good few months now. At first I took it like some docile good girl who deserved it."

She scowled and slammed down her third tea.

"In defense of you, he was much worse. He verbally abused me, he told me I was stupid and worthless. And because I put up with it, and didn't stand up to myself and leave, he took it as a sign that it was acceptable behavior. By the time I resigned from Shinra and got ready to leave he was becoming a bit more civil and kind. By then any effort he made to reconcile reeked of insincerity to me. So I left his sorry ass and have no regrets…for now."

I paled.

"Is this the sort of thing you and Tifa bonded over?"

She looked guilty now.

"Maybe. There was much more of course but I promise you. I never encouraged her to leave you. It was a great shock when she texted me this morning and said it'd be the last."

Shit. I grip my hair in my hands, this is very enlightening in a horrible way.

"Shera. How did you feel when you first left?"

Shera looks contemplative as usual and stares out the window in reverie.

"At first, my heart felt like it was shattering. It was really painful. But less than two days later. I felt _free_. Like I had got my self-esteem and dignity back. I also felt new. A new start…"she mutters. "You know Cloud, it was actually wrong of Barret to pressure Tifa like that, she is so young and imposing that type of expectation on her to run a family and raise kids is too much. Tifa is so giving and compassionate that she took his words to heart and crumbled under her high expectations and perceived pressure from everyone."

"What words?"

"What you said earlier. Something along the lines of 'stay here'. Give and show that you don't only take too. What that sounds almost like an accusation. Tifa has given enough of her time, her dreams and her heart to help save the planet…and to help you recover. Well what about her? Did she ever get a rest after the Geostigma crisis or was she pushed straight into a role of duty?"

My eyes are tearing up. I'm such a dumbass. I was never there for her in the way she needed me most, emotionally.

"-Emotionally. Women need emotional reassurance and to know that they feel cherished. She crumbled. And I think she just needs to have her own space for a while and get her center back. It's slightly Zen but so important. Her letter said she 'lost herself' which means she hasn't felt balanced and whole for a while."

"Do you think I should go looking for her?"

"No!...no. She needs time to find herself. If she wants to come back to you she will. But she needs to come to that decision completely by herself, for once."

**Meanwhile on a train to nowhere in particular - Tifa's point of view.**

The darling girl with the pigtails and Moogle doll continued to smile at me. We had been talking about anything and everything since she came to sit in my carriage. This little girl was going home after a long exchange trip in an exclusive primary school in Midgar. Her parents were wealthy. I still haven't asked when she's leaving the carriage because I don't want to say goodbye to her.

"Well what are you waiting for? Do it. It'll be very meaningful" she laughed. "Starting a new life means you need to throw out the old, if you want to start again."

I laughed derisively. What wise words coming from a child as young as Denzel.

"Isn't it mean to throw away gifts?"

"Silly, they threw away _you_ and you're a good gift."

"Would you like to do it? I'm too chicken."

She rolled her eyes and snatched the big card from my hands. Then she ripped it into two halves. She stared at the cover saying 'Thankyou'.

"You're welcome!" she says sarcastically. She hands it back to me.

"Let it go."

I opened the small window on the carriage and let both pieces fly out. The wind immediately picks them up; they fly high into the air and into the beautiful forest our train is passing.

"Wow. You know I just realized where you released those cards."

"Hmmm"

"The Peaceful Forest."

I felt chills running down my spine. And I know this seems completely out of my mind, but I felt like I got this impression that…_she_ was disappointed and angry. I felt a bit frightened and as if on cue the setting sun seemed to darken a lot suddenly.

"Isn't that the most popular suicide forest?" I asked still a bit freaked out.

"Aha! You wouldn't think it because it's such a beautiful place. But it's the biggest hotspot for sad people to die peacefully in. If there's such a thing for suicides."

I felt a sense of horror now. Did I just kind of 'suicide' my own future and family? No. I'm just doing something for me for once. I shake off the creepy vibes. It's just my imagination. After that subsides I feel very relieved and progressively happier.

"So where are you going to stop?" the 'Moogle girl' asks me.

"Oh I don't know Honey. I'm starting a new life so I could go anywhere."

"Wow, how does starting afresh feel?"

I can't help this manic grin from spreading across my face. I'm actually doing this! Wow!

"It feels euphoric. I'm starting again. I can go to new places, meet new people –I've already met someone awesome here." I point to her cheekily and she laughs. "I can become a new person. One I actually like. One other people will want to be around, instead of someone people just accept and put up with because I'm always there."

She eyed me strangely. "There's nothing wrong with you now."

I wish what she said was true.

"Hey the next stop is mine!"

"That's wonderful, you're almost home!"

While I felt joy even for this new girl, I felt a pang of sadness. I was going back to no home because I had just left it. Too late, gotta live with the consequences of that choice now.

"Do you wanna come home with me?"

"…Really?!"

Yep! She started bouncing cutely. "We have so many spare boarding rooms in our house, we have exchange students at home all the time. Mum and Dad won't mind keeping you under our roof while you kick start your new life. Plus they will be really impressed that you took care of me on this carriage all the way here. They are normally scared of me travelling on trains alone".

I'm still trying to process this. How easy it actually is to just up and leave and start over. The hardest part was only getting myself out of that Seventh Heaven door.

"I would love to um –"

"Elaine."

That's actually suits her personality and appearance quite well. I crouch down and hug her.

"I'm Tifa and I'm honored to know you."

She laughs. "I know who you are silly. I was there in the pool when Denzel got healed. And I saw you and Cloud making smooching faces at each other."

Okay?

"Thanks to you guys so many of my friends were healed. It was too late for my younger brother but not for everyone else. And if it weren't for all your efforts none of us would even be here today. So now let us do the best to help you out."

I'm crying now. Tears of sadness and loss for what I've put behind me and tears of happiness to know that people _care_, even when they are not my closest 'kin'.

"So let's go home then!" she takes my hand and we happily walk out of the train station.

"Where are we?" I ask.

"Oh _quite_ far from Seventh Heaven."

Three years ago I found Cloud at a train station and brought him back. I brought him back, in many ways. Now that he is comfortably settled in a home, in the Seventh Heaven perhaps it was my right time to leave. I left Cloud by the means of a train. I arrive at this unknown train station confused and so uncertain about my life. Just like he did three years ago. Maybe it's a good sign. He arrived in a broken state, became the world hero and made something fabulous of himself. Perhaps there's a chance that will happen to me here – well not saving the world but at least establishing a grounded and happier existence. God knows where Cloud was before he rocked up at my local train station. Well what _was _previously my local train station. I kind of wish we could have just stayed together and that he arrived because he was fated to come to me, but that's just my selfish and wishful thinking right? Obviously. Oh well. Hello new life and hopefully new Tifa.

* * *

I don't intend for all my chapters to become so deep and angsty, they just do aargh. Sorry for upsetting you HuntersEve. The idea of angry Aerith's ghost really creeps me out. And the name Elaine for Moogle girl just randomly popped into my head too. No Cloud won't be getting together with Shera but they will become very pally friends. It's strange how the plot for this novel has been planned out but these new characters and scenes - like Moogle girl – just kind of insert themselves in anyway. Haha writer's experiences. Thanks to all who are still following this story, it will have a decent ending that is sure.


	8. Unexpected

**6 months later:**

I adjust my shiny sky- blue pinafore over the stiff white T-shirt. The shoulder sleeves are supposed to be as puffy as possible. They puff on purpose. I can't help thinking that this recent choice of clothing resembles that insufferable girl Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, with the exception of the blue pinafore touching the ground and flaring at the bottom. Yes once upon a Nibel-heim-time I sang along to the tunes while my mother played them on the piano. I think I'll start playing the piano again too. I haven't made time for it yet.

I hope today is a good hair day. That means _not_ straight. I start pulling out the comical looking rollers that I slept with last night, and every previous night for a few good months. It doesn't even hurt my head anymore. Shiny, black ringlets fall out with the pull of each curler. After removing all of them I jump up and down. My hair continues to bounce after I stop moving…yes today is a great hair day! The hair is pulled to the side as I attach a shiny blue bow to keep it in place.

Makeup time: dark red lipstick, sparkly grey eyeshadow, eyeliner that turns into a swirly circle thing at the ends of my eyelashes, and deep red blush on both sides. I'm set. Just need my handbag. My handbag is a picnic basket with fakes flowers glued to the lid. My stuff is concealed underneath it…just like my strong muscly legs are concealed beneath my dress. I stuff my fighting gloves inside because you never know, a small bottle of gin to wind down with in case customers drive me crazy, and my uber awesome new phone. Before leaving I fake simper into my mirror. This is so not my choice of clothing, but I made the choice to wear it.

I found a second job three months ago. I'm an in-character tour guide within the Gold Saucer theme park. My first job which I gained immediately after moving in with Elaine and her parents was to bartend of course, in a bar just outside the theme park. Shortly after earning my keep I was able to rent out an apartment near them. I love their family. So I bartend at night and do this during the day.

My manager Patrick is fierce; he expects all the tour guide employees to be 'in character' for their chosen role. I can be the most charming tour guide – just not the most endearing fantasy maiden tour guide…which unfortunately is the role the hiring cast thought I'd fit perfectly in. I have to act as the pining lover from that _Loveless Play_. Just in case I forget and Patrick yells at me I read the transcript one more time before crumpling it and stuffing it in the bag.

"**Loveless - Act III**

_As the war sends the world hurling towards destruction  
The prisoner departs with his newfound love  
And embarks on a new journey_

_He is guided by hope that the gift will bring bliss  
And the oath that he swore to his friends_

_Though no oath is shared between the lovers_  
_In their hearts they know they will meet again._"

Oh, the irony! So my faux rescuer cum lover is a charming man named Laurence. The first time I met him my heart stopped because he looked an awful lot like Cloud. He was taller and his hair was a darker blond but I still subconsciously search for Cloud wherever I go, and the first hint of icy blue eyes was enough to catch me off guard. Nevertheless we have amazing work chemistry – well colleague chemistry and the fake interactions and love declarations we do for the entertainment of customers has helped me bear the harder days of this job.

Time to go.

I walk to the concealed staff office just outside the park. Patrick is bustling about his work desk.

"Good Morning Tifa." His steely eyes scrutinize my appearance from the bottom of the flared dress to the last ringlet on my head. He nods curtly.

"You are looking good."

"Thank you Sir."

"But I need to see an improvement in your presentation. Remember our last little office meeting. You _always_ have to be in character. That is company policy and a most crucial aspect of your employment contract."

I nod.

"So that means we cannot have you getting defensive the next time a couple of boys start taunting you for being a prissy weak maiden. You certainly cannot tell them you possess expert martial arts skills, nor can you by any means start displaying them when boys pull at your hair."

These ringlets are the cause for lots of unwanted contact, not only by mischievous boys but babies, toddlers, old women, old men, young men. It drives me nuts.

"Yes Sir, but what then do you expect me to do?"

"Stop moving. Rub your eyes and pretend to sob. Yell 'someone save me' and as you know Laurence is always close to you. He will come to your rescue and defend you as his male character permits him to. Understand?"

Clearly our characters come from the Dark Ages.

"Yes Sir."

"Then be off then. We are in peak holiday season, expect today to be hard."

Righto! I walk out. Laurence has just put on his princely garb. Red soldier top with puffed sleeves of course, fake gold armour vest, ridiculous looking flaring pants, a cape and big fake golden sword. He smirks at me but in a friendly way.

"Well aren't you looking like a merry poppet today."

I punch him on the arm enough that it stings a little.

"Ow, but a merry poppet with a working temper."

"Shush you!" but I smile despite myself.

"How was the old bat today?"

"Not too bad. He told me off for having the right to defend myself so you have to do it now."

Laurence chuckles.

"Fear not my beautiful maiden. No one shall come near you with this -" he unsheathes the fake sword "-terrifyingly deadly weapon!" the fake sword wobbles so loudly. I lose it.

"…Why are you laughing so hard?"

I'm choking on my own throat. I just can't stop. Imagining someone pulling that move on Sephiroth.

"Have you- have- you carried a real sword before?"

Laurence looks confused. "There's really no occasion for it, and I haven't, though I'd like to take up sword fighting as a hobby. There are few left who practice it." He looks solemn.

I calm down a bit. "Okay, because real swords definitely don't do that. Definitely not."

"How would you know?

Laurence doesn't know my background. Admittedly most people on the Planet know about AVALANCHE and the Geostigma incident, and Cloud's fight with Sephiroth but I don't want anyone to know about me in relation to that. The past is no more.

"Just research I guess."

"Oh I see! You're interested in swords craft too? I have been ever since I was little after learning about the former First Class Soldiers. And then the epic fights during the crises three years ago, I think Cloud Strife is the most brilliant swordsman that ever lived. A real prodigy to beat the famed General."

My face pales.

"Yeah, he was amazing. Anyway let's get started on work lest Patrick give us a second official warning."

"Okay. Time to get in character hey."

* * *

The morning shift hours went shockingly fast today. The park was so busy with locals and tourists that I didn't have a spare moment to feel tired or moody. This is how I like it. This is the last leg of my shift. After this I will go home, fly out of the hideous costume, wind down then get ready for my night shift at the bar. I hate my last role on Saturday nights though. My job for this part is to monitor the entrance to the Gondolas and direct people into their cable cars. This is the only literal section of the park and time of the day that brings me emotional pain. I try to turn off my feelings and funnily enough never get into my character mode better than now.

"Good evening, welcome to the Gondola. Have a pleasant and meaningful ride."

I smile, curtsey and lead the next cute couple into the carriage. It's Saturday night in the middle of holiday season which means there is an abundance of happy, young and good looking couples coming into the gondolas. Probably after an amazing day out in the park with lots of fairy floss, Chocobo riding and emotional bonding. Expect a love confession or some intimate physical contact in the gondolas when the fireworks go off. We've had more than fifteen marriage proposals within the gondolas during the fireworks display. This aspect of the Gold Saucer has become a marketing point in recent years, hence the overload of cliché couples coming here for their romantic holiday. Just where I started my new life. Fantastic…yes everyone I am twenty three years old and bitter as a hag.

"Excuse me, can we get on this thing or what?" says a gruff voice behind me.

Oops! I snap out of it and turn around.

My jaw drops.

"Barret?!"

My eyes follow his. Marlene was standing at his side with a shocked and possibly awed look in her features.

"Tifa!" she exclaims happily.

"Oh HELL no!" Barret yells, hoists Marlene over her shoulder and walks away quickly.

My mouth is still open for a second then I come to my senses.

"Oii! Barret! Come back here! Stay a while!"

I forget my post and start running after him. His head remains resolutely turned away from mine and he quickens his pace. I am quickly going to lose sight of him with the sheer number of park goers in my way. I cannot miss the opportunity to speak with them.

"Barret!" I yell again.

He turns his head around, sees me coming faster, then breaks into a jog.

I run faster. "Barret, listen up! I know you are still angry about what I did to Marlene and leaving suddenly but you have got to cut me some slack! I was stupid, confused and a self- absorbed sad person at that time."

I start to wheeze because of the tight pinafore but continue chasing and yelling at him.

"That doesn't mean I'm not allowed to make mistakes and get grace from people though! You cannot expect me to be perfect all the time, the problem was that I expected me to be perfect all the time and I thought I failed so I got scared. When I get scared I get stupid so I freaked out and left!"

All the while Marlene is peering at me from over Barret's shoulder with a curious look.

"Daddy stop! Let's just say hi to Tifa at least."

Barret ignores her. I'm starting to get pretty angry now. Call it a new found fire.

"Oh okay then, you are just going to leave me in the dark forever and never talk to me again because I made one mistake. Fancy that! So you never made a mistake then? I know better than that. How dare you judge me and not yourself, you know what that is? Hypocrisy! You are a hypocrite!"

The onlookers have become curious. Some are stopping to watch and a few have even started following me to view the commotion. The back of Barret's ears have reddened but he continues to jog.

I growl in defeat. This is such a bad way to end the day. Five boys pulled my ringlets this morning, a baby taking a photograph with me vomited on my shoulder. I am cranky after seeing all the happy couples in the Gondola. Then getting blamed by Barret. Should I let my anger out? Well, Barret is going to ignore me and I'll never see them again anyway.

"Fine! Leave forever and be angry you _stupid, black, man_!"

I hear a collective gasp around me. Barret stops mid track, turns around and approaches me. I gulp. Then he pulls me into a really tight bear hug.

"Now, _this_ is the fiery girl from Nibelheim I have been missing for so long," he says hoarsely.

This is shocking. I pat his back awkwardly. He retreats.

"Ahem!" Out of nowhere Patrick storms up to me. The crowd has formed a circle around us.

"What is the meaning of this?!"

Everyone is waiting expectantly. It's my time to shine, I'm about to get fired in front of everyone. But Marlene is staring at me mischievously – she mouths "make it up" and smiles.

I put my hands to my eyes, rub them and pretend to start wailing loudly.

"This man" I say pointing at Barret "taunted me and said my handsome lover would never come home."

Barret looks positively confused.

"Yeah Daddy! Why didn't you let me stay and talk to Ti- talk to the pretty lady".

"AHA!" comes a shout and a flurry of red. Laurence has literally jumped into the circle and come to the rescue.

"How dare you villainous cretin, presume to hurt my one true love and tar my precious honor by saying I wouldn't come home to her?!"

"Just play along with it Daddy." Marlene whispers.

Barret stands up straighter and eyes down Laurence.

"I just thought that it would be fun to tease her. She was all alone you know."

The crowd makes a disapproving 'ooh' noise.

"And only for a while, you coward with no faith. I had to defend my precious country, fulfil my oath to my friends and gain fortune and glory before returning to my one and only. But as you can see, ogre, I am here! With my love!"

Laurence beckons to me. I traipse up to him and cling hard.

"Yes my sweet lover, I knew you would come for me and not let the big bad man get me. I should have you know that I think he kidnapped the little girl."

The crowd gasped again. I feel a bit guilty for ambushing Barret but at least I know he will be forced to stay a little bit if Marlene is forced into my company.

"Oh may the goddess have mercy on the sad state of humanity. Is that true villain?"

Barret's eyes narrow "Yes pansy pants, I kidnapped this girl."

"Oh! Come here to us child! Now I am compelled to use the offensive against the ogre!"

Laurence unsheathes the sword and it wobbles in front of Barret's face. I think Barret wants to say something about it but he actually has tact when necessary. His face though is priceless. I must not laugh or I shall get fired. Marlene stuffs her knuckles into her mouth to avoid a laughing fit.

"Haarr!" Laurence fake slashes Barret's shoulders, then pretends to slash his chest. For all the absurdity of the play acting he actually uses good technique. I wonder if he actually practices for real.

Barret lets out a fake dying groan and splutters nothing onto the concrete.

"I'm dead you sissy. Happy now?"

The crowd erupts in happy cheers and Laurence does his personal victory pose.

I run into his arms and kiss him passionately. Just a short French kiss but this is all acting of course.

Marlene snaps a flash picture of us.

"Can I have one of just you Tifa?"

"Sure." I turn to my side, pull the ends of my dress out as if I was curtseying then smile adorably as I can at Marlene. I'm a bit high from the rapid change of today's events it seems.

"Great!" she plays around with her phone.

"Just so you can remember what became of me" I tell her gently.

She nods. "Yeah- I'm going to send these to Cl- to my friends."

"-Tifa!"

"Huh?"

Patrick approaches me with gusto.

"That was a superb performance just now. At first I thought you were screwing up again and making trouble with a tourist – worse still a big scary type of his kind but then I saw you were just improvising. That was good!"

"Well I'm glad that I have performed to your standards on this hard day."

"Well another park staff noticed you were missing and took up your post at the Gondolas. Since he is happy to do that for the last hour and the crowds have got their show I say you can check out now. How's that?"

I beam. "Thanks Patrick!"

I breathe a great sigh of relief. Marlene is still standing by my side. I am so fortunate.

Barret approaches us after all the strangers have gone their own way.

"Think it's time for a long catchup Tif"

"Me too Barret, me too."

We two start walking away. I am very drowsy but in a cosy happy way.

"Marlz! Come on!"

"Hmm?"

"You just standing there glued to that phone. Who yo texting? Got a new boyfriend?"

Marlene looks down quickly. "Nooo just old Denz"

"Then hurry along we're gonna have dinner just for fun. Just like old times."

Just like old times… why does that make me feel so nostalgic. I'm supposed to be over it all. The 'old times' just keep pulling me back. But I guess if the bad parts keep revisiting me, it stands to reason that there must be some good times to reminisce about too.

* * *

**Author's note:** Sorry for going away so long! I left my home and people and kind of had a little 'adventure' myself - travel is adventure. It actually put me in the right mindset to create Tifa's new life. Well I'm back. Little to no angst in this chapter - that was a first. The story is going to take it's lighthearted, romantic and slightly comedic tone now (for a while), I believe that's the meaning of 'fluff'? Is it? Thank you readers for sticking by.


	9. Manipulating the stars

**Seventh Heaven:**

It's raining this evening. To take my mind off the bleakness and boredom I pour over the delivery orders for next week.

Ever since Shera took over the bar, I have been at home more. Don't ask me why. A stupid part of me thinks that if I stay home long enough I may just see Tifa drop by. I mean what if she decided to come in just to check how things were and I was out? But that's stupid thinking, stupid , stupid because when she _was_ around I would go out.

I'm still living life, but it's like a half-life and no amount of working, socializing and engaging in hobbies has filled that empty space ever since she left.

There was a slight knock on the door.

"Come in."

Denzel trudged slowly into the room.

"Hey Denz."

"Hey."

The boy looked a bit anxious and forlorn. I wonder if something had happened in school today.

"What's up?"

Denzel shrugged. "Nothin'"

"You sure?"

"Yeah…" then he walked out.

That was strange. Guess I should take him out somewhere this weekend.

My mobile phone vibrates. It's a text from Marlene.

Marl – _HULLO CLOUD._

Me – _Hello Marlene. How are you._

Marl – _Good. Guess what?_

Me – _Hmmm._

Marl- _C'mon guess!_

Me- _You've met a boy?_

Marl- _No silly! Daddy and I found TIFA today._

My heart starts to race. She's been found! She is okay. She hasn't disappeared from the face of Gaia, or done something drastic like change her name and identity. I am so relieved.

Me – That's fantastic! Can I speak to her?

The reply was immediate.

Marl – _NO SILLY! She hasn't even mentioned you. This is supposed to be a secret. _

Oh. My heart sinks then. She must have really forgot me and left me in her memories. Perhaps she is much happier that way.

Me – _Is she happy? How is she?_

Marl – _Dunno, u decide. _

Two images appear as multimedia messages. The first picture of her is in some blue gown, the same gorgeous blue she used to wear as a teenager. She has her black hair curled instead of the usual straight hairdo and she's twirling her dress with a beautiful cheeky expression. I find this really transfixing and let the image sink in. She only wore black around me. She looks really happy, I wish I could be there with her.

The second picture makes my stomach turn. She is making out with a guy. A blondish guy who kind of looks like me.

Me – _What the hell Marlene! _

Marl – _Excuse me?_

Me _– Is that her new boyfriend?_

Marl – _Maybe. You jealous? : )_

Me – _Is he or isn't he?_

Marl – _Ok, I'm joking. It's not._

Me – _Fine._

Marl – _Calm down, she's working as a theme park actress and that's just her fake actor boyfriend._

I make a growling noise. Sure he's just her fake boyfriend. I know enough about Tifa four out of five men who get close to her, either as a bar customer or work colleague always end up developing feelings for her. Just give it a couple more weeks and this wannabe boyfriend will ask to be her real one. Looking closely at the picture brought something else to my attention. She isn't wearing the promise ring anymore. Feel like breaking something in dismay now.

Me – _Does she like him though?_

Marl – _How would I know?! We only caught up with her tonight! But because I can, I'll try to make sure he doesn't get close to her._

I feel a sense of misplaced glee. This is so wrong, because Tifa should be happy if she wants to.

Me – _Don't do anything mischievous Marlene. Can you ask her what she thinks of me though? I'm calling you._

Marl – _No! Are you cray?! She's with me right now. Plz don't._

…What does 'cray' mean?

Me – _Is she living with you guys?_

Marl_ – No I'm staying with her 4 while coz Daddy's visiting people at home._

So Barret is visiting people at his home. He's from Corel so Marlene must be close to there.

Me – _Where is she living now?_

Marl _– I can't tell you. Guess._

Me – _Please? : ) _

Marl – _No I'll get in trouble! _

Me – _Fine. Where can I see her without looking like an obvious stalker?_

Marl – _Guess._

Me – _Somewhere near Corel?_

Marl – _Warm._

Me – In a bar?

Marl – _Getting hot._

Me – _Which bar? Is it also called Seventh Heaven too?_

Marl _– Seriously? OK look closely at the photographs._

I peered at the single picture again since I can't bear to stare at the other one. There is a crowd of people around her, but that could be anywhere in a theatre. She is outside and in the distant background there are power-lines – no, gondolas!

Me – _She's working at the Gold Saucer? _

Marl – _Cannot say. Burning white hot?_

Me – _Thanks Marlene._

She's working at the Gold Saucer. The place conjures up so many memories. A break in the midst of the turmoil, laughter coming from Barret, a time where I was invited to a large group of terrorists who eventually became my friends. It was Tifa's idea to invite me in to that group. If not for her I'd have been wondering around like a train wreck since arriving in Midgar.

A vivid memory suddenly flashes in my mind. I actually sat in one of those gondolas that looks so distant in the picture! But I took Aerith up there, for a date? No, rather she came gallivanting to my door and insisted I go on that date with her. Who was I to say no? After all it was her form of repayment to me for being her temporary bodyguard, and for some reason I recall really wanting to go with her. It's just that, we only had one night at the theme park the time was monopolized by our date. After that we had to continue our mission. But did Tifa ever get to go on a gondola ride? How come I didn't ask her? How come the entire memory of that gondola date only came to my mind now? Tifa once told me that for a few weeks I had been completely out of it, amnesiac and acting _off_, like I was another person.

What the heck was wrong with me then?

"Shera?" I call out not too loudly.

"Mmm?" She's in the room next to me.

"How would you feel if three of us went to Gold Saucer for a weekend? Just to wind down and get out of this rut for a bit?"

She looks at me inquisitively, then breaks into a grin.

"You looks like you've found out that a real Promised Land exists!" she teases.

"Huh?"

"You found her didn't you?"

I scratch my head, and look down.

"Yeah, but she doesn't even know I know that she still exists in Gaia, or where she lives, or what she's doing…"

"But that doesn't matter. There is nothing wrong at all with wanting you, me and Denzel to take a break and go for a weekend trip. And hey, if we just _happen _to bump into Tifa there – well that's merely coincidence right?" she winks mischievously.

Coincidence…

"Yeah. Maybe that fake boyfriend will coincidentally leave too."

"Hahaha!"

Did I say that out loud?

"This weekend is okay with you?"

"Aha!" she smiles.

"Wonderful. Mind telling Denzel?"

"Right on."

Okay. I don't know whether she'll hate me for accidentally seeing her at work, but all that matters now is that I can see her again. I wish to the heavens that she would be happy to see me. I pull out the phone.

Me- _Marlene. Denzel, Shera and I were planning to visit Gold Saucer this weekend_.

Marl – _SURE_ _you were._

Me_ – Am serious._

Marl_ – Daddy and I are planning to visit Tifa there too on Saturday._

Me – _Neat timing! Wouldn't it be funny if we bump into each other by chance_.

Marl – _Would be SO weird._

* * *

**AN**: This chapter was a bit different, with the introduction of the texting. I find this fiction has been challenging to write. Firstly I wrote it in first person – which means I have to switch gears and get into the minds of both Cloud and Tifa, and Cloud is immensely difficult to get into! Secondly it's written in the present tense. It took me the first four chapters to realize, by that time it was too late to alter the style.

_Ayami_ – I'm glad you like this overall plot! To be honest I thought it was kind of plain, but I always wondered how people would cope if Tifa was the one to walk out! :D

_Guest, guest, and guest_ – Glad you are finding this story fluffy and suspenseful…are you all the same person? "Brainless Chocobo beaked moron" had me in stitches for a bit.


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